Ever have one of those days where you took the Bus out for a load of firewood and came back with more than just the wood? Or, to further the question, did you ever have one of those days when you took the Bus out for a load of wood, and while cutting the wood, the wood "puts the wood" to you? Okay, so you know where this is going. It's going to start out as just another one of those nice, sunny, winter days where you spend a few sweet hours collecting burnables in a serenely quiet space and it's going to end as an exercise in public embarrassment brought on by a congenital deficiency to underestimate the position of a Bus in relation to the direction of a falling tree.
Anyway, what happened was...
...Sorry, can't go on. Too hard to type through the tears. Next time we're around a campfire together---maybe then, but even then we'll first we'll need to have a few beers.